July came in with my mind full of doubts, insecurities and fears which lowered my confidence even more to the ground. There were a number of nights spent in crying and self-pity and comparing myself non-stop to others which definitely didn’t do any good to me. Until my mom applied to an agency to become a caregiver abroad which is something that I don’t want to happen, I don’t want her to leave my brothers here. They are in the crucial years of being a teenager and we all know how they ends up if they don’t get guided properly. I understand why my mom would want to go abroad and work. I don’t want her to go for my brothers’ sake, is that too much to ask?
That decision of my mom pushed me to act fast. I must show her that she doesn’t have to go. It has been my mom’s lifelong dream to be able to go abroad, that’s why I try to tell her indirectly that she’ll do that one day, she can go abroad not to work but to enjoy and it’s one of my goals to make it happen for her. But of course, things will never be that easy. On my last post I’ve said that I felt like I am now chasing time, that’s exactly one of the reason, I need to find a job abroad first so that my mom won’t have to leave.
I understand that it will not happen with just a snap of a finger, that’s why I’m trying my best right now to find agencies that offer jobs that I qualify for. I’ve found some actually but I still haven’t contacted them or inquired at them or visited them yet personally, I’ve planned on doing that next week but this afternoon a friend texted me saying that she referred me to her friend who is seeking for a reliever clinic nurse because the regular nurse is due to deliver her baby anytime soon. I contacted her immediately and found out that the job offer is only for 2 months, the work is weekdays office hours with an acceptable amount of salary and I’ve decided to grab it. I am scheduled for an interview on monday, if I get lucky I’ll proceed with the endorsement immediately that very same day which really thrills me. This is just the beginning, that two months is enough to fill in my time until I officially turn 23 on September. The agencies that I’ve found requires their applicants to be at least 23 years old, so not bad of killing my time then, productively, right? And gaining a short experience at the same time though I doubt that they’ll count it as an experience but still it’ll be beneficial for me.
Yesterday, I accompanied my mom to pick-up her passport and of course it has been another ‘momdate‘ for us. We’ve shared plans and talked about things over coffee and blueberry cheesecake at Starbucks. While we were talking, I received a message from the website that I have used to send out some of my applications saying to check out my email because a company sent request for me which I secretly (I didn’t tell my mom) did. Indeed, there has been a message from of the companies I’ve applied for and they were inviting me for an interview on the 18th for an Operating Room Nurse position and the company is specializing in Ophthalmology. Albeit, I’m a bit skeptic about it I don’t really care right now. I just try not to have high expectations this time.
Though this month entered with negativities in my system, it couldn’t stop me from being hopeful right now. A little more pushes I know I can have something good in the end. Always try. Hard. I’ll end this post by sharing to you guys some of the quotes (found on Pinterest) that really inspires me these days whenever I read them: