Back To Square One

My life lately has been so typical and routinary,  just plainly boring in general. Pretty much doing the same thing everyday which is I’m getting really tired of and unfortunately, I am back again with my old bad habits.

Being unemployed at 23 years old really sucks, it’s making me feel useless. I want to go places and do things and buy stuffs but of course, how can I do that when I couldn’t even afford it. Oh did I mention that I’m turning 24 in a few months? This whole mid-life crisis thing is slapping me hard in the face right now and it’s literally driving me insane. There was a time when I thought finally something worked out then in the end it didn’t so now it brought me again right from the very beginning.

I am again this, directionless, worthless, confused, jealous and insecure girl. I want to be that person again, someone who when I stick my mind into something I will do anything to do it or to have it. Sure I have goals and ambitions but the courage and confidence to go through the process of getting in there or of reaching it, are the things where I am lacking. I am full of self-doubt and shyness that it holds me from doing the things that I want and the things that I know I can. I constantly compare myself to my friends and to others that’ll turn in the end into self-pity. I once said here that my self-confidence is already at six-feet under the ground and that’s what makes everything worse.

I know people will say to cheer myself up and believe in myself and always think and stay positive. I know. I’ve tried, it’s just really not that easy to do. Not easy.

Oh how to get past this?

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2 thoughts on “Back To Square One

  1. Mind over matter. You know you attract what you think. If you want to be someone claim it. if you want to have something, claim and act on it. You know it’s easier to quit when the going gets tough but, it is always rewarding to strive and be successful. Cheer up! You are so young and have unlimited potentials. There’s a long wide road in front of you. It maybe rough but surely full of surprises.

    Like

    1. It’s funny because I totally agree with what you said. But you know sometimes we just have those times when everything just overwhelms us so much and I think that’s where I am right now.

      Thank you for your kind and motivational words. I greatly appreciate it. ^^

      Liked by 1 person

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