Brain Dump: ‘Me’ At This Moment

I am feeling blank right at this very second as I am typing up this post. Seriously? Blank? Is that even a feeling? Just like the current status of every aspect and areas of my life, BLANK. Empty. My mind though isn’t empty at all. It is currently full of these thoughts, concerns, worries and a lot of frustrations that I don’t even know what to address first. I am that overwhelmed that instead of feeling panicked, I just couldn’t react except for my fingers which still have the guts to tap on the keyboard to type up this post which I doubt will have sense in the end.

This week I sent out resumes to the hospitals which are my dream work place but not as a nurse yet. That’s my choice really, I am starting to question my competency as a nurse after all these years of not practicing so might as well not shock myself to get in the profession in this instant. I plan to do that eventually, I just take this as a warm up before I dive into the stressful yet rewarding world of nursing. Hopefully. I applied for a position that is still somehow related to nursing and one of the hospitals have actually texted me and invited me to an interview on Monday and maybe that explains the building anxiety in my gut.

This week also I have indulged myself to youtube, well honestly that just seems like the only thing I can do right now, watching videos and films, since I am not really in the mood to read anything. I am just not feeling it. I have actually started reading Amy Poehler’s Yes Please but I don’t know if I just wasn’t not in the mood or if I just wasn’t really into reading such kind or genre of books. But through this tons of hours of watching I discover a new obsession. While I was watching CSI last night, my all time obsession, I saw the trailer for the show The Whispers which have really intrigued me like a lot since the first time I saw it. Just too bad though because it is being aired in the cable channel that isn’t included in our subscription which pisses me off greatly but of course what’s the internet for if you’re not gonna use it, right?

So yeah, yesterday I watched the first 3 episodes and today I finished the other 4, meaning I’m all caught up with the episodes and yes I’m all hooked! That’s why I’m obsess! I find it really intriguing. Take it from a person who isn’t a fan of sci-fi. And since I’ve watched all the episodes so far, I have the movie Private Number buffering in the other tab of this google chrome tab. I told you, that’s the only area where I can get productive these days.

I remember, my brother received his first pay in his new job and my mom has been teasing me with that telling me that the brother has been enjoying his salaries while I sulk in this room spending so much time in Youtube. It’s a friday night and a lot of my friends and people are going out tonight for sure while I, on other hand, is here in front of my laptop with a steaming mug of coffee beside it and in my pajamas with a buffering Private Ryan waiting to be watched after posting this post which I hope is a good movie. Fingers cross.

Happy life, isn’t it? The Bum Life.


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