Copycat by Erica Spindler

Surprise, surprise! Here I am again with my crime-thriller addiction and when you say crime-thriller, Erica Spindler’s name will always pop in my head because if you do not know already she’s my favorite.

I hadn’t read a book in over two months because I was not feeling it but lately I longed for the feeling of excitement, mystery and thrill that reading gives you and crave for the satisfaction when you finished a book. Since I was in a rut with reading, choosing a book to read was no easy feat so I asked myself what kind of book does hold my interest best, what kind of book makes my blood rush with excitement and yes, you guessed it, thrillers will always be at the top of my list.

So, I brought out Copycat and it surely didn’t disappoint. Copycat is the first book for the Kitt Lundgren series. It is about Detective Kitt Lundgren who has led the investigation about the serial killer she named as the Sleeping Angel Killer, who killed three ten-year old, blonde-haired and blue-eyed girls. No evidence, no witnesses and the killer calls them his ‘perfect crimes’ which have put Kitt’s career in jeopardy when she have let the killer slipped out of her hands. Then five years later, the Sleeping Angel Killer was back. Kitt noticed slight variations from the past killings and then the unthinkable happened when the killer himself called Kitt and offered to help her catch his copycat.

“A good investigator always let the scene and its evidence tell the story.”

One of the reasons why I love Erica Spindler’s books is that she has the ability to catch the reader’s interest and curiosity in just the first paragraph of the book. That’s proven at least in my case because that happens to me if not every time then most of the times that I have read her books. I’ve felt pity and amazement with Kitt’s character.  I’ve felt bad for her whenever she was having a meltdown, made me feel like I want to give her a hug but I was amazed with her as well because of how strong she was for handling and dealing with the situations she was in. I have had a love-and-hate relationship with Detective M.C Riggio’s character, Kitt’s partner, during the first half of the book maybe because she was too ambitious, slightly inconsiderate and always by the book kind of gal but I’ve grown to like her for the latter half of the book.

The thing that I love the most about this book was how it toyed with my mind; it had me guessing as to who the killer was and that’s a big thing for me ‘cause did I say that I love that? This book has a lot of suspicious characters; it had me thinking/guessing and was even paranoid for every character’s move. I love and hate it at the same time when my assumed killer turned up dead because I need me to have another guess as to who the culprit was which always add up to the thrill and excitement. I just love the mystery that this book has offered.

The story line for me was great, it was fast-paced but I have to say though, the twist in the end I found not really that satisfying or should I say I didn’t saw that one coming at all. It was beyond my guesses and surely I was not a fan of that. In my head it kind of had no sense and just kind of popped up out of nowhere. I was actually shocked when I read about it or maybe I thought I just didn’t paid enough attention with the clues, I don’t know. I wasn’t really that convinced, maybe it was just me but that’s another important thing for me in crime-thriller stories. The killers/suspects reasons as to what compelled them to do such things has to be convincing for me, that’s one way I found closure with the story.

But aside from that one thing, I enjoyed everything else about it. Would I recommend it? Of course, I will. I’m actually curious as to what other readers think about it, especially about the twist in the end. Those feelings I’ve craved for when I was still in a rut with reading, everything was met with this book and I couldn’t be happier that I am back to reading and that this book didn’t disappoint me. Give this a read, and if you did, let me know what you think.

SUNDAY

                                                   Sun rays peeping through my window
                                                   Unto my eyes shining brightly, waking me up
                                                   Nestled in my own cozy and comfortable bed
                                                   Dead tired from yesterday’s actions
                                                   A steaming mug of coffee to fuel the body and
                                                   You beside me for companion and security

Don’t Worry, It Gets Worse by Alida Nugent

First of all, can we all take a moment and appreciate the cover please because if you can ever have a peek at what my brain would look like, I think that’ll probably be it, an abstract of a mess. So just for the cover itself, it has already won me over, add in the words for the title, oh I feel like I want to do a hundred cartwheels for that – well not really, maybe just ten – because I’m all about that. It just screams the very thing that I’m struggling with right now, okay fine, it sums up my life at the moment. Yep, that’s right. That’s why I know I can totally relate to this book.

Don’t Worry, It Gets Worse is the story of the author, Alida Nugent, about her journey and experiences in transitioning to adulthood. Basically, it’s her story after getting out of college with a degree in hand facing a door into the real world.

“ADULTHOOD was officially here, and I needed to get off my ass and embrace it.”

This book has got me hooked right from the intro. I loved her humor; she definitely made me laugh a lot of times. As I’ve said before, it is very relatable. The first half of the book was nostalgic, at least for me because it brought me back to my college years and a few years after that. It made me picture what I was before, the things I did, imagined and dreamed of. This book has a lot of advices to offer, did I learn something new? Honestly, no. There’s nothing on it that I haven’t read or heard before but it kind of comforted me in a way that what I am going through now is nothing out of the ordinary, that it happens to a lot of people, not just me. I find it fun, inspiring and motivating to know what other people have been through, how they handle and deal with it and also to learn the lessons that they’ve learned.

My favorite part would have to be the advice that she gave in the latter part of the book in the form of a graduation speech. Again, it was nothing out of the ordinary and yet it kind of gave me a breather and realized that my life is perfectly normal even though it is not going the way I’d like it to be.

“Until you start to get your legs moving, you will always feel like you are lost.”

Obviously, I love this book. I love how humorous it is. I love the style, it’s fresh. And I love how relatable and realistic it is. Will I recommend this? Of course, I will. It’s a good read. So, if you are a twenty-something and you would want to read something that can inspire and motivate you in some way or a reminder that you are normal and human, just like what Alida said:

“Life is not a movie. No happy ending is guaranteed. No wound is closed by magic.”

then give this book a go. Read it.

Back At It Again

Hello there lovelies! How have you all been? It has been a while, isn’t it? Yes, I’m still very much alive and kicking. I know it seemed like I was gone for forever, well not really, it’s more likely a little over two months for sure and that was totally intentional. Though I was not actively posting anything, I was still able to drop a few comments and likes on some posts. Now, you might want to know why I stayed away from blogging for a little while and to satisfy your curiosity, I just thought I needed to take a break for all the usual reasons such as:

– Blogging has become more of a chore than a hobby. The perfectionist and workaholic in me just couldn’t let it go easily when I don’t have anything to post. It bothers me big time.
– Reading books was not as enjoyable as it used to be, it also has become more of a chore for me. I was in a rut, I just couldn’t find the motivation and mood to read.
– Creativity and imagination are nowhere to be found.
– Couldn’t think of anything to post other than the usual. The usual stuff I post here like ranting my heart out, complaining about my life seemed not right in a sense that I certainly do not want to share my negativities to other people.
– Brain is rusty and foggy and not working properly.
– Life issues because life is unfair.

Now that I acknowledged that I just couldn’t stay away from blogging anymore doesn’t mean that I screamed EUREKA! in the middle of my bath and got it all figured out. No! That’s totally not the case. I am still feeling the same and as clueless two months ago. I have never experienced a light bulb flashing at the top of my head and said “AHA!” in those two months that I have been inactive. But I am slowly getting back into reading again and I miss writing and posting. I am definitely still in a rut but that’s fine, what can I do, life happens.

Another Gloomy Day

I admit that I’m having a tough time these days, anxiety, pressure and insecurities are once again taking over my life right now. Focus and concentration are nowhere to be found. My brain is in constant jumble and I am always in argument with myself, constantly in fight. The conversations I am having with myself are not good; I am again starting to get pulled into the pit of self-loathing. Situations are slowly consuming me.

I am having a hard time dealing with myself, I do not really know how to properly tackle or handle these dilemmas I have. I frequently find myself in daze, looking out to nowhere, when there’s any sudden movement or noise then I’ll come back to reality. My days are filled with sighing, sighing and more sighing, it seems like that’s all I could do at the moment. I really couldn’t tell any more if my mind is just blank and empty or there’s just really too much going on in my head that are like a thousand times faster than a bullet train that’s why it looks like nothing is registering in this faulty brain of mine.

I’m feeling useless. I’m feeling like a failure. And I’m guilty of it. I can see it and feel it every time my dad looks at me and every time my mom talks to me. I know they have expected a lot from me which is making me feel guiltier and more pressured to deliver and meet those expectations. As I’ve said before, I do not want to disappoint them but I’m aware that that’s all what I’m giving them now, disappointments. It pains me, big time.

Nowadays, reading doesn’t pleasure me, coffee doesn’t comfort me and music doesn’t calm me. What am I going to do then? I’m feeling trapped, with my routines, with my negativities and basically with my life. I want to get out of this cage so badly and be free.

the life-changing magic of tidying by marie kondo

A dramatic reorganization of the home causes correspondingly dramatic changes in lifestyle and perspective. It is life transforming.

This book has been a long time coming; I have put off tending to this book for the longest time. Clearly, I’ve discovered this book through social media and the internet because we all know that everyone has  talked about it, add in when the minimalism trend became in then it boomed even more.

At first, I thought it is a book just about tidying and decluttering but obviously, it offers more than that. I came to understand it more and more as I was reading it and I actually have found myself nodding to this and that, muttering to myself that “Yep, that’s me.”, “Yes, I do that too.”, and “I am so guilty of that.” I got interested about it for this very reason that she said “You, on the other hand, have been led to read it, and that means you probably have a strong desire to change your current situation, to reset your life, to gain happiness, to shine.” And also this “…one of the magical effects of tidying is confidence in your decision-making capacity.” because “If we have confidence in our decisions and launch enthusiastically into action without any doubts holding us back, we will be able to achieve much more.

While I was reading, Marie Kondo struck me as someone who is obsessed with cleaning and organizing starting from a very young age. She has like dedicated her entire life to tidying, studying it, teaching it and putting it into practice. Then comes her theories and it actually all made sense, her techniques all has bases and when you really think about it, it all are pretty simple. I got to say she really knows her stuff.

These are the tips that I’ve learned based on KonMari’s method:

1. The major rule is to ask yourself whether your things sparks you joy or not. If it is something that gives you joy then keep it, if it is not then discard it. She said to “Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge to discard the rest.

2. Remove everything from the closet, drawer, cupboards or whatever it is that you want to tidy and put them all to the floor. That way you’ll see and touch/hold every item, making the process of deciding what to keep and what to discard easier and more effective.

3. Do not get victimized by the thought that you might need it one day or that you might read or reread it later because she emphasized that that is more likely not going to happen. (This has to be my favourite tip of them all because this is me every time.)

4. I completely agree when she said that it’s better to tidy up in one fell swoop rather than doing it gradually because that way you can instantly see and feel its effects. “If you tidy up in one shot, rather than little by little, you can dramatically change your mind-set. A change so profound that it touches your emotions will irresistibly affect your way of thinking and your lifestyle habits.

See? This book does not only offer you the tips and tricks on how to declutter your space but also gives you the psychology of it. She have went on and on about the positive things and the positive effects that you’ll get in a tidied and organized home not just environmentally but also physically and mentally which is the best thing. Although I got a little weirded out when I got to the part wherein she talks to her house and her things, thanking them for serving her their purpose, for doing their work which I am not completely against to if you do that. I am also really grateful for the stuff that I have that’s why I use them with care as much as possible as my way of showing my gratitude to them for making me feel beautiful and for making my life easier and convenient.

Now, I totally get it why this book has become so handy for the people who support the minimalism lifestyle. Don’t underestimate this book; you’ll get a lot from it. This is another must have as a physical book for me; I really want a copy of it.

…tidying can transform your life.

If you want to organize your place and/or your life as well, then you’ll find a lot of tips and motivation in here because her tips doesn’t only apply to things, it can also be applied to your life too. You’ll feel really inspired at the end of this book because I did. No wonder that this has become a total hit. I, of course, recommend for you read it.

A Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Gerry,

I am writing this letter to you as a warning maybe, of what awaits ahead of you in life. I know it was tough growing up in a confusing family background that only you and I can ever understand. It was also very hard being the eldest kid in the family as you as always worry about everything, even little things but that is just something that you cannot change about you, it is innate with you. You worry too much and you always over-rationalize things, I’d like to say that these things can make your life difficult in the future as it hinders you from doing the things that you supposed to do.

As you grow older, you’ll experience a lot of fear, doubt, envy, jealousy, and even anger. I am not telling you this to scare you in any way, this is to tell you that you’ll be spending your young adult life with these negative feelings and emotions, you’ll feel betrayed and your patience will be put to a test. This is to prepare you so that it’ll not overwhelm you too much just like what I’ve experienced or you can do something better about it, so you wouldn’t go through what I’ve gone through. With that maybe we both can have a different future. Quarter-life crisis will get you so bad, frustration and regret will be a part of your everyday life. These happened because you know, I messed up. Actually, these past couple of days, I’ve been beating myself up thinking of the things that I regret so much and the things that I could’ve done differently so I wouldn’t be stuck in this phase of my life right now. Oh how I hate that word: stuck, idle, slump, pause, just because I am so guilty of it. Yes dear, I am stuck for five long years now, still searching for answers that don’t seem to be found.

I know I sound like I complain so much about how my life has turned out and that’s because I am complaining about it and it’s nobody’s fault but me. I am to blame for all of this; I know that, so I cannot help to think that once you messed up, you can really mess up big.

As I’ve told you, I am not saying this to scare you or pressure you. I just want you to be prepared because that’s what I’ve felt before this idleness happened. I felt like I have just focused on finishing school and did not fully prepare to the life after that and that was when it all started, that was when life overwhelms me so much that it made me what I am now: a coward, irresponsible, shameless – in a way that I can only explain, and a great procrastinator.

Well, life isn’t about all the bad things, of course there are also good things that happened. I cannot list any of them as my mind is clouded with so many negativities – I know, my bad – but I know deep down in me that there are. I’ve been wishing to have a time machine so that I can go back to the time where this all started but goodness gracious! I am well aware that there’s no such thing as time machine or going back in time. I am still sane enough that I know that’s not possible and you know what? Even if ever given the chance to do that, I think I still wouldn’t change a thing because I’ve learned many things in those five years. I have definitely become more mature and slowly having a different but better mindset.

Don’t worry I’m not letting myself to end up like this forever. I may be struggling but I am thriving and surviving that’s for sure. All I want to say to you my younger me is to not be scared and be prepared – mentally- so things cannot overwhelm you so easily which makes you lose focus and forget everything you planned. When life gets difficult, just hang in there.

People and even I, may not have given you enough credit for all the things you’ve accomplish, forced to mature at  young age and basically, for getting through so much … I tell you, you are already one heck of a girl.


Always wishing you courage, confidence and happiness,

the 24-year old version of you