Hello you guys! How have you been doing? It has been a while isn’t it? Yes, I’m still breathing and alive. Honestly, I don’t really know what to say. I just kind of feeling like writing, to get these thoughts out of my head and scribble them somewhere which is exactly what I’m doing now. Obviously.
I still don’t really know what to say and share with you. I really hate it when I feel like I have tons and tons of things crowding my mind but then the second that I actually want to write them down they all just disappear. Bummer.
Let me just start then by sharing with you that for a few weeks, I had been on a reading spree. The number of books I’ve finished recently made me so happy and satisfied but it worries me at the same time because my e-book stash is disappearing very quickly. I’m actually kind of scared that I will run out of books to read because reading is all I could do for now with the fact that we still don’t have internet yet and our television is more often than not in control by my dad and/or by my brother. I’m considering of typing up another book round-up and a few book thoughts but not quite sure yet. I don’t know if this craving to write will hold up and keep me motivated long enough to actually write them or write anything at all besides this post. We’ll just have to see then, I guess.
I miss writing poems. It has been so long since the last time I’ve written one and I’m talking about years – totally not exaggerating. I still have the poems saved here in my computer so I might be posting them from time to time. I’m still considering if I will post the tagalog ones. Should I or should I not?
I miss my friends. Badly. I miss hanging out with them. It has been a while since the last time I saw them. There had been at least a couple of birthdays that had passed that I thought were opportunities for us to meet but nope it never happened. I guess they’re just too busy tending with their own lives. I doubt we will be having our yearly tradition of going to the beach this month. How sad.
I’m also feeling jealous of my mom right now, she’s now in the province to visit our relatives there and also to visit my grandfather’s grave. They will very likely visit my hometown too which I have been dying for so long to visit again to see the house/place where I grew up in. But unfortunately, it’s something that my mom wouldn’t allow for me to do so for a very personal reason which I know of course and I totally understand.
Another thing that I’d like to share that I just happen to remember as I am typing this right now is how abnormal and erratic my sleeping pattern is nowadays. It actually bothers me and worries me a lot. I don’t know how I could keep going on and function in my day with very little sleep – with that I mean, just an hour or two of shut eye for days straight. It’s crazy I know. It’s gotten out of control for the worse that just a few days ago, my body has retaliated fiercely. I had a very bad throbbing headache for almost two days, I was feeling dizzy and nauseous as well to the point that I thought I would puke my guts out at any moment and I know for sure that it was due to my lack of sleep. I am now suddenly being bombarded with the bad effects of having lack of sleep in the body and in the mind. Oh my goodness, this needs to be addressed immediately!
I just realized that I still have many thoughts to dump but I would like to keep those things for myself, it’s kind of a sensitive matter for me at the moment. I’ll just write them down somewhere else that only I know where and only I can read.
Now, it’s a no brainer for me that I badly need to get my life together. I promised myself not to be so pessimistic anymore so I need to dispel this budding negativity hovering around me. I’ll just keep reminding myself that if anyone can, why can’t I? Am I right? I have read somewhere that there’s nothing you cannot do/achieve if you have the right mindset. And I totally agree with that.
So, for anyone out there who’s also going through something these days, let’s just hang in there friends!