Have you ever talked to someone whom you badly wanted to like, as in romantically? Maybe because that person have qualities and features that you find so charming or maybe because you simply like him/her for the person he/she is, the coolness, quirks and all.
You talked and talked, gave it more time and chances to talk while you’re being on the lookout to spot that something — for that factor that would tell you and convince you that you really are so into this person. That factor that would tell you that your attraction to him/her is actually valid.
That feeling of the mere mention of his name immediately sending high voltages of electricities exploding like fireworks inside of you. That feeling of just catching sight of his face instantly causes your blood to rush on your cheeks, giving them color. That feeling that of when your gazes locks, it makes you inhale a breath sharply then makes you wriggle as if you’re a worm sprinkled with salt. That feeling of when you catch a whiff of his masculine perfume automatically pulls your lips into a smile. That feeling of when you hear him utter your name, it’s as if the Heaven’s opened up and the angels with trumpets are serenading you. That feeling of when his hand grazes with yours, sending ripples of shivers down your spine triggering the hair on your bodies to stand up. That feeling of as when he’s walking towards you, it gives you butterflies in your stomach, fluttering energetically everywhere causing you to feel giddy and dizzy with so much excitement and expectation.
There’s this man, 6 foot 1 tall with chocolatey brown eyes matching with his brown toussled hair. I first saw him in his scrub suit with a stethoscope around his neck. A surgeon he said he is. Oh, I can only imagine the twinkle in my eyes. “How sexy.” says my mind. I love it whenever he talks about his patients and his surgeries, he exudes confidence and enjoyment of what he do which makes him a hell lot more attractive and charming. The way he talks, so professional but can crack jokes too, definitely not lacking in the humor department. Sounds so good to be real, right?
As I am watching him being in his element as he talk with his patient, I’m silently swearing and cursing at myself. Seeing with my own two eyes how rock-god-tastic this man is, I can’t help to question myself why. “Why?”
That gorgeous of a man and I, we talk, we hang out. He tells me stuff that he doesn’t even want to mention or talk about with other people which makes me feel so honored thinking that he trust me. He feels comfortable with me, he told me so, and I too with him. I can be silly, goofy, grumpy even clumsy. I am myself when I’m with him. We have a lot of similarities and yes we have differences too but still we get on really well. His far from perfect, he’s got temper too. He can be blunt and cold at times and not too big of a fan of coffee. He’s gentle with kids, he likes them. He’s a filial son to his mother.
But why . . .
Why can’t I feel any of those intoxicating feelings of a woman who madly likes a man?
Is there something wrong with my heart? Didn’t cupid put enough dose of love in the arrow he shot me? Or was the arrow not intended for me? Where did the spark go?
What do I do? I like him but my heart is adamantly still. Should I keep liking him? Should I just give it more time and see if feelings may develop along the way? Maybe I’m just rushing my heart.
Or could it be that . . . maybe I’m just in love with the thought of him?
“No.” my mind sighed.