It’s nearly 10:30 in the evening here and is quite confused as I am typing this up. There are a lot of things going on in my mind right now but the one that really stands out is my great desire to land a job. I badly want to work. I grew tired of my routine that I have been doing for years now and I know I’m just wasting more time if I am just going to sit here and do nothing.
Going out of my comfort zone. I have always been fascinated by the thought of that, maybe because I believe that it’ll be the solution to my current state. I am a very introverted woman, I am very shy and with that I am really awkward whenever I’m in/with a crowd of people. I don’t like too much noise, I like acoustic and instrumental musics. I love reading books. I enjoy every cup of tea/coffee. I can even laugh at corny jokes. I love having long conversations. Very geeky and nerdy right? Yep that’s me. Whenever I think of cool people, I always ends up saying to myself that I’ll never be like them because I’m not really interesting. What can I do? I’m just a very simple and ordinary girl. People get bored to me very easily. In fact, I get bored to myself at times also.
It’s not like I wanted to be a cool kid, I’m actually happy with what and how I am even though I know I need to gain heaps and heaps of confidence. Then I thought, there’s a solution to every dilemmas right? I think my shyness being isn’t just because I’m an introvert but also maybe because I lack experience. I don’t go out very often, I’m a total home buddy so how can I stop being awkward to people if I don’t exercise and improve my social skills. How can I participate in other’s conversations or understand their thoughts and opinions if I’m stuck with my own perceptions. So I thought why not engage myself into trying other things, like try different genres of music, books and movies. Go out and explore the neighborhood. Meet new people. Try and discover other possible hobbies. Just basically trying out other things that I have never tried before, something that isn’t in my comfort zone.
I may have been too comfortable of what I used to do that’s why I’m scared of trying, exploring and discovering things out of my familiarity. I have already lived twenty-two years of my life but I can say and I can guarantee you that I have experienced only a few. I’m turning twenty-three in September and yet I haven’t even gone out to a single date, never had a boyfriend. Fascinating right? It’s not that no one asked me out, I just never entertained anyone for I have thought to myself that I am not a girlfriend material and that they will just get tired and bored of me because I really am not interesting. Yes, I’m always bothered with that.
As of now, I think I’m ready for taking chances and risks in life, knowing that I tried and that way I wouldn’t torture myself with the thought of what-if’s. I know the road will not be completely smooth, I’ll be having bumpy rides at some points, fall down and scrape my knees but the important thing are learning from it and standing back up again. I’m thinking having a job can be my first step and with that I remember I am scheduled to have an interview tomorrow so I better not screw up this opportunity. Wish me luck. I really need lots of that.
Let’s not be afraid of getting out of our comfort zones! ^^ It can help us experience and understand more.